This weekend at Valley Church, I will be formally installed as the church's second Lead Pastor in its 30-plus year history. The thought of such simultaneous honor and responsibility makes me tremble inside, quite frankly. For years I have struggled internally with feelings of unworthiness related to God's calling on my life as a pastor. I don't always feel "spiritual" enough to be a leader of God's people. I sometimes struggle with comparison games between myself and other Christian leaders who I think are more "deserving" or "worthy" than me.
Have you ever felt a nagging sense of insecurity or self-criticism that wouldn't easily go away? Do you ever struggle with perfectionism - feeling like you barely measure up to your own standards, much less what you presume are God's? Some would say that this mind set is a sign of humility - but I'm not so sure. I believe and embrace the fact that God has called me to live at a high standard as an example of Jesus to others. When I fail, it is reasonable that the Holy Spirit would convict me to strive for better. But at the end of the day - I understand that it is GRACE alone by which I stand.
When I came to Jesus, I was a mess. That's why I came to Him in the first place. I recognized my sinfulness and knew I needed a Savior. Then when He called me to ministry, a part of me felt like God must have had the wrong guy. But here I am, 14 years later and more grateful than ever that He has preserved me thus far. Jesus told Paul that His grace was sufficient - and that God's power was made perfect through Paul's weakness. While I strive to follow Jesus in the daily pursuit of love, integrity and peace - I realize that even the little bit of good I might have to offer is because of His grace. I haven't been called to serve Him because I am in any sense "worthy". I have been called because He delights in using underdogs, strugglers and doubters to accomplish the work of His upside-down Kingdom where the first shall be last and the outsiders are invited to feast at the table.
Hopefully, my deep sense of inadequacy will enable me to bring that grace more fully into the lives of those who need God's transforming power. I am definitely a work in progress - and I'm grateful that my Wounded Healer has chosen me to be a wounded healer in the lives of others. To God be the glory, great things He has done...
It's nice to know that others feel that way as well. I'm sure we've all seen cases of other Christians believing they are perfect because they're a Christian but knowing that I am nowhere near perfection is why I am a Christian and I'd be a fool to tell others that "you too can be perfect if you become a Christian!"
ReplyDeleteAlthough none of us will ever reach perfection it's important that we live our lives with love, integrity and peace within our hearts knowing who is love, integrity and peace and much much more to the world. Being saved by grace is a truly comforting thought and even though we're guaranteed to stumble every now and then God loves us no less, no more than the biggest, baddest, most "worthy" Christian.
I love when I hear someone say we all fall short of the glory of God. It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one, lol.
-Ryan
Hey, congratulations on the "promotion?" and for being someone willing to step up to it. What's a "lead" pastor at Valley. Is that another name for senior pastor? And what are you doing about a youth guy to fill your big shoes?
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Jeremy! I'm excited for you.
ReplyDeleteJeff Myers
Thanks for commenting guys. I appreciate the encouragement. Doug - yes, lead pastor is our word for senior pastor. We have been extremely blessed to have two amazing guys leading our youth ministry with an incredible team of interns and volunteers - not to mention a very committed and competent admin assistant over that department. I feel very blessed as a lead pastor to have this youth ministry team in place. They are leading better than I ever did! God is good...all the time.
ReplyDeleteInadequate? Not only do I feel it, I know it's a fact! But then God shows up and does His work-way better than mine!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're not out there on your own Jeremy-I know God is going to work great things through you because you're yielded to Him. Sandy
It was when Peter looked away from Jesus that he became afraid and began to sink. Jesus called Peter to get out of the boat and walk on the water. Jesus would not have called Peter out of the boat just to drown. Jesus would not have called Peter out of the boat if He was not going to give Peter the means with which to walk on the water. To clarify, so long as Peter had faith that God would keep him on top of the water, he was going to walk on the water. But Peter started to doubt himself and thought that surly the waves would knock him down.
ReplyDeleteI am not a very highly educated individual, but it seems to me, if God calls on you to do something or be something, weather you are inadequate or not makes no difference. God is not going to call you and let you drown. As long as you trust and believe that God will keep you walking on that water, then you will!
I think many people feel they are inadequate on some level or another to handle the tasks laid out for them or be the person God calls of them. I know for me I get that way about even the little things...like responding to this blog. I have wanted to numerous times but always thought my lack of knowledge would only lead me to look foolish. But I know that I believe and trust in a Mighty God bigger than I could ever imagine, and if He wants me to do something or be something, I better believe He will give me what I need to do it.
Belated congratulations, Jeremy! I have always enjoyed your lessons, though I am not able to get to church very often. Your blog has been amazing as well! I always learn new things from it and it constantly challenges me to think outside the box. Thank you and again, congratulaions!
Jeremy,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your promotion, and yes, you deserve it! You may not know me, but our family attended Valley until May 09. We've since relocated to the Azores. (Where's that?) The thing I loved most about Valley were your sermons and how you were so relatable. Every week your sermons affected my life and what I was dealing with, and they still do! Although we don't attend anymore, I still follow to see what Valley is up to. Once again, I can pull something from your words. We've found an english speaking church here that American's attend and I felt God calling me to be a Sunday School teacher. I'm still new to Christianity but I felt like I needed to volunteer. Then I said to myself "Can I do this?" "Do I know enough about God's word to teach children's ministry?" I guess I too, am the underdog, but God knows what he's doing.
So thank you, for your words of encouragement. Congratulations again.
Thanks Anna and the Hohs - God is good to all of us and truly IS the God of the underdog! :) Blessings...
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